Self Study

If this is your first time workin’ your way through a Self-Study Module, I am so pumped that you’re here - and I’d encourage you to take a quick little detour over to the Welcome, Start Here! page to get a better feel for how we’re exploring and experimenting with aliveness together.

Before diving into your journal prompts, here are some quick reminders to keep top-of-mind:

  • Practice radical self-honesty. You don't need to hide from yourself or anyone else. 

  • All of your feelings are welcome, and there's no need to fear them. Let them vibrate through and out of you instead of stuffing them down.

  • There's no need to set expectations or cast judgments, it'll just make your journey more challenging. 

  • Be gentle with yourself and others, we're all doing the best we can, and we're all at different points on our personal paths.

  • Regularly question and investigate thoughts, feelings, and actions - especially those that feel constricting. What would have to change to make them feel expansive?

  • Move in the direction of more freedom, always (even when it's the more challenging option).

  • Have FUN! 

A couple notes related to this month’s theme…

  • Regarding this particular module where we’re exploring the concept of control together - there are some common areas where we humans tend to feel challenged, like: relationships, career, money, and outer appearance - which are important to consider as you move through the exercises, but also remember to open your focus and awareness to encompass all of the different elements of your life, because you never know which little nuggets of insight may create huge shifts for you.

  • Also! Don’t forget to share your explorations and experiences with the Come Alive Community along the way. Connecting with kind people on similar paths makes this whole self-study thing feel even more life-giving.

Journal Prompts

Now’s the time to get cozy with your journal and start working your way through this month’s prompts. Word to the wise - don’t feel like you need to get through all of these in one sitting. Allow them to weave themselves through your daily experience over the course of the month, see what type of pace and format feels best to you and go with it. 

Each question in the left column is meant to be considered in the context that’s explained at the top of the columns to the right. Let curiosity and honesty lead the way, they’ll never steer you wrong!

 

Questions

Genuine Curiosity:

How can I explore this concept in my own life? Dive deeper than surface level.

 
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Sun

Outer Expression:

How would I answer this question in an interview?

How do I think I *should* answer?

 
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Moon

Inner Expression:

How would I answer this question in my journal?

How do I *really* feel?

 
 

Align

Outer+Inner Expression Misalignment

What needs to change to align my outer and inner expression?

Noticing+shedding the inauthentic

 
 
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Earth

Integrated Expression:

How would I answer this question as a fully-integrated, authentic version of myself?

Embodying my innate wholeness.

How does asking myself the question, “am I out of control” make me feel?

  • Why do you think that is?

How does the expression, “trust the process” make me feel?

  • Why do I think that is?

How would I describe my relationship with change throughout my life?

  • Which periods of change have felt most challenging and painful? Why?

  • Which periods of change have felt most natural and effortless? Why?

  • Can I pinpoint examples of how these experiences influence how I relate to change in other areas of my life?

In what situations and with which people do I find myself putting my guard up, and being cautious of what I say/do and how I look?

  • What are my most common strategies to avoid discomfort and judgment?

  • What makes these situations/people feel unsafe to be myself?

  • Are these fears valid?

  • How does seeking external approval make me feel?

In what situations and with which people do I feel like I can let my guard down and be fully myself?

  • Where might this comfort and self-assuredness come from?

  • What makes these situations/people feel safe to be myself?

  • How does choosing internal approval make me feel?

How willing am I to place my trust in people and situations?

  • Do I truly trust myself? Why or why not?

  • Do I truly trust other people? Why or why not?

  • Do I truly trust the unfolding of my life? Why or why not?

What situations feel challenging to allow myself to release control and trust that they’ll unfold as they should?

  • Why do I think these feel the most challenging for me?

  • What beliefs are standing in my way of being able to fully trust?

In what situations can I most easily release control and trust that they’ll unfold as they should?

  • Why do I think these feel the most effortless for me?

  • What beliefs support me in anchoring into full trust?

How would I like to transforom my current relationship with the concept of control, to my ideal (a.k.a. best-feeling) relationship with it?

 

Integration Experiments

Ready to take your practice our into the real world? It’s experiment time! Pop on your scientist goggles and bring self-study into your daily life with these control self-check questions (for when you need them, in the moment):

  • Am I attached to a specific outcome?

  • Am I fearful of a specific outcome?

  • Am I seeking external validation or approval? 

  • What am I *actually* in control of right now?

  • Am I taking full, deep breaths? 

  • Am I experiencing any feelings of constriction or rigidity in my mind or body?

  • Am I open to and aware of my surroundings?

  • Am I open enough to take in new information, or is my focus very narrow?