Major FOMO
(Pssst. In case you're not hip with the lingo, FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out.)
You know that feeling, right? Someone, somewhere is doing something that you want to be part of and you're not there. You feel this strong sense of FOMO creeping through your body, and removing you, mentally, from the present moment.
I have to say, I experience FOMO way less frequently these days, but I grew up FOMO-ing on a regular basis. In my teenage and college years (and even my early 20's) FOMO was the name of the freakin' game. In those days I always thought if my friends were somewhere else they were 100% having way more fun than me, making up tons of inside jokes that I wouldn't be part of, and creating lifelong memories that I'd miss out on. The drama!
I was constantly looking outside of myself for happiness and confirmations of worthiness, because I thought I knew for sure that other people held the keys to whatever I was seeking. Unsurprisingly, it left me feeling pretty empty inside
.These days, FOMO is promoted to us in so many different forms - we're flooded with triggers at every angle - especially this time of year. The holiday season is jam-packed with parties, present buying, limited-timed sales encouraging us to buy said presents, constant social media uploading + scrolling, etc. It takes a huge amount of focus to stay grounded and centered during the holiday tornado.
In fact, my last corporate job was at a flash sales website (limited-time sales with very limited inventory), FOMO was our entire business model! We tried everything we could to instill an extreme sense of FOMO in our customers on a daily basis, and during the holiday season we stepped up that strategy in a big way. Marketers are FOMO-pushing wizards - STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND BUY THIS NOW, OR FOREVER BE SAD!
How often are you sitting somewhere perfectly lovely when you mindlessly pick up your phone only to immediately enter into the social-media-scrolling spiral of doom? You're at a family member's house for dinner, you're sitting with a loved one on the couch, or you're in the middle of nature on a beautiful day. Wherever you are, it's a place that could provide you with some sort of soul nourishment, and you mentally check out of the situation to see what everyone you're not with currently is doing.
Ironically, your fear of missing out is causing you to miss out on what's happening right here, right now.
On the other hand, how many times do you say "yes" to an invitation that you really want to say "no" to because of FOMO? Do you find yourself begrudgingly dragging yourself to social engagements just to say you went, or to ensure you don't miss out on anything? (I can't even count how many times in the past I dragged myself to crap I didn't want to attend for these reasons.)
When we get right down to it, FOMO is born from a place of perceived lack. Our ego wants us to think that we need to be involved in everything to be loved and valued. It doesn't want us to miss out, and it definitely doesn't want anyone else to be doing something "better" than what we're currently doing. It wants us to believe that we never have enough, we're never doing enough, and we never are enough - that we need more to be important.
Our ego is well-intentioned, but full of shit.
For me, stepping out of the FOMO frame of mind has been a conscious choice, and has taken a total reprioritization of what's important to me and where I want to focus my energy. It has taken a huge amount of practice (yoga, mediation) and mindset work, and also the realization that I already have absolutely everything I need for complete peace and total happiness (thanks, Dr. Wayne Dyer).
These days FOMO only creeps into my life when I've temporarily stepped out of a grateful state of mind - those moments when I let these types of triggers send me to a place of lack and insecurity.
The next time you feel yourself being sucked into the FOMO vortex, press the "pause" button for a sec.If you're looking at a screen of some sort, turn it off. Close your eyes and take some deep breaths (did you know that something like 80% of the stress we experience is digested through our eyes?). Bring yourself back to the present moment. What's really stressing you out? Where is that feeling of lack stemming from?
If you give yourself some space to dig a little deeper you'll be able to put your finger on exactly what triggered you and why - and if you write it down or tell someone you'll be able to release it much more quickly (I find that when I write my triggers down or say it them out loud I immediately realize how silly they are). Feel your frantic FOMO dissolve on the spot.
This quick little exercise will teach you something about yourself each time you do it, and it will be easier to let these feelings breeze right past you in the future.
The more time you spend living in the present, the less time you spend "missing out" on anything.
Now I'd love to hear - do any of these examples resonate with you? Have you pinpointed any of your FOMO triggers? Share in the comments below!