On Autopilot

A couple of days ago I got out of the shower and totally forgot the order of the steps in my typical getting-ready process.Do you have one of those post-shower routines? Are these even things that most people have? I have no clue - but I have one, people!

I stopped in my tracks wondering, Do I usually wrap my towel around my hair before or after I moisturize?  Do I add leave-in conditioner before or after I get dressed?  I was baffled.

I stood there for a good 30 seconds trying to remember the routine I do every day without thinking about it, until I realized how ridiculous it was.  I was actually momentarily stressed that I didn't know what the right thing to do next was - like there was a rule book that I was potentially not following. I started laughing at myself and thinking, Why couldn't I just be there in the moment and make logical choices based on what I wanted to do?

Do I seriously need to rely on turning on autopilot to avoid taking part in the present?  I was so disconnected that I wasn't even in tune with my autopilot setting!

YIKES.

Coincidentally, this spontaneous brain mush puddle coincided with some guided mediations I had been practicing with that were challenging me to find moments throughout my day to remind myself to be present - like trying to notice and bring awareness to each time I stood up or sat down throughout the day (WAY more difficult than it sounds), or to make space for a few brief refreshers of my morning medi by using visualization techniques.

These sound like pretty much the the easiest things someone could ask you to do, but for me these past few weeks - they have been really hard, not to mention frustrating, because I've been letting myself get so caught up in my head.

I've been in the midst of a pretty major life change (making the leap from my corporate career to my own biz) - so I've needed these mindful moments more than ever, but they've been feeling juuust out of reach.

I've caught myself flipping on autopilot and unconsciously going through the motions a bunch more times in recent days.

This morning I filled up my tea kettle with water, put it on the stove, cut up some lemons and squeezed them into mugs and turned to the stove to grab the warmed water and realized I never turned the burner on.

Last week I was driving to yoga and couldn't for the life of me remember if I had closed the refrigerator door before I left the house - and then once I got onto my mat in the studio, I couldn't remember if I had locked my car. Double whammy.

Aren't these the situations that we see depicted in memory loss medication commercials?!  I keep having to physically shake my head to get myself to snap out of it, HELLOOO, is anybody in there?

Not only are these lapses in awareness potentially scary, they're completely pointless.

When my mind isn't focused on what I'm doing right now - it's running laps around the past or future like a rabid wild animal. And while that wild animal is running laps, I'm causing myself additional future inconvenience or anxiety because I can't remember what the hell I did when my mind was elsewhere.  I'm also not allowing myself to enjoy the space that's available in the here and now, or giving myself the opportunity to make choices from a place of purpose (vs. autopilot).

This is the complete opposite of doing my future self a favor.

Do you have these autopilot routines and moments throughout your day? If so, tell me about them in the comments below - and let's join forces by flicking that autopilot switch to the "off" position every single time we become aware that it's been turned on again.  We'll work towards becoming the captains of our own ship, if you will (see what I did there?).

All we can really do is make the decision to start over again each and every time we catch our mind spiraling out of control.  No shame, no judgement - just starting over with a fresh new slate with your next breath.  It can be that simple if we allow it to be.

Join me, won't you?