Removing the Shame from the Depression Game

I recently experienced what I can only identify as feelings of depression, and it’s wild how much shame started bubbling up as I moved through it.

I’ve openly shared that I used to majorly struggle with anxiety (still do sometimes) - which is, unfortunately, a super common experience these days. And since it’s so common (and almost even strangely glamorized), anxiety doesn’t really register on my shame-o-meter.

But the depression - that took me by surprise in so many ways. Trouble getting out of bed in the morning, incredibly low energy, being on the verge of tears (or crying) at any moment, very uncharacteristic thoughts, and feeling the need to withdraw myself from, well, practically everything. That’s just a little peek behind the curtain of my experience.

I had so much shame about suddenly not feeling in control of my mental health that I didn’t even share it with Kyle for over two months (he had a lot going on personally, so I also didn’t want to add any burden/worry on top of that).

By the way, the majority of people who interacted with me during this time probably had no idea what was going on - which makes me have an even deeper understanding of how we have *no* idea what people may be struggling with on the inside based on how they appear/act.

But back to the shame - it has a lot of layers for me (which I won’t take the time to unpack right now) - and I’m dead set on dissolving it within myself, because shame is truly one of the most damaging things to our healing and well-being.

It may not appear it from the outside - but I’m not happy and full of energy all the time. When I’m riding mental/emotional waves, I tend to pull back and process instead of sharing, because that’s what feels right to me - but please don’t mistake that for me never having any lows.

I’m sharing this in case you also have shame around your own experiences with managing your mental/emotional health.

All I can say is this:

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.

There are way more people than you think that would deeply resonate with what you’re feeling/thinking.

Life is a study in contrast - and the more darkness/heaviness you encounter, the more capacity you have for lightness/levity.

Be as patient and loving with yourself as you would with your best friend.

You’re whole, complete, and worthy AF no matter what’s vibrating through your mind and body right at this moment.

Everything in life is temporary.

You are loved. ❤️